Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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