theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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