I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
