Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i came on her dog
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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