She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
