he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
