Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
