Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
