We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
