does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
