Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
