you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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