I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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