when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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