I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
