hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize