I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
...so i touched it.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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