Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize