no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
