I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
bring money and cleavage
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
