drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize