so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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