ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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