I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
