He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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