what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
