How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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