my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
