i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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