im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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