It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize