If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I touched a dick in church today
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
