i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
