I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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