just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
jump out the window naked night went bad
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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