I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We're not piercing ourselves today.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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