I am spending my child support on dildos
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
