You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
