You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
