I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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