it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
