Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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