I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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