btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
