jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
