She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Can I color on your dick again?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
