ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My first STD was from a foam party
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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