is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
