I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
