And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
my liver is dry heaving
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
