im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
