We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
