she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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