lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I need to sanitize my soul.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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