so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
