wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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