Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My cat gives me a boner
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
