I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize