I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
